Tonight I went to a Western dance party. I danced with a real cowboy! And several other guys, some more creepy than others and some genuine gentlemen. My brother danced too, it was cute.
The other night I had the best worst night of sleep ever. You have to understand a little background though. It is windy here. Pretty much all the time and the weather changes like nobody's business. We live in tents that are barely sufficient living spaces. They are about 12 feet by 10 feet, wooden floor, three wooden posts holding up basically the entire tent. When it is windy, the tent moves back and forth a good two feet. When it rains, we get wet because there are holes. I hadn't gotten a roommate yet, and this night was windy at about 20 mph, raining, thunderstorming, and cold. I can't open my eyes because if I do I'll see how badly the tent is moving and have a panic attack. I can't move because I am scared. If my tent falls down on me I am alone. My Mac is unsafe from water or temperature damage within a locker. Every time the lightning strikes the tent is illuminated and all I can do is count the seconds until the thunder rolls violently soon after. I am lying there stiff like a stick with no refuge. I am praying my brains out that it would stop.
And it's then that I realize, "God is a god of wrath. He has been gentle with me, but he is the Creator of the Universe and has every power to destroy nations and bring us trembling to our knees."
This storm is Him being who He is and it's scary and I don't want to be here but I am okay because He loves me. He loves me.
"God is near. He is near me 800 miles away from where He was near me that time five months ago when He was near me and every day that He has always been near me."
Wow. It was some sort of epiphany or something, and it was an experience of the closeness of God. Without anyone else telling me what to do. Without advice from others and without closeness of friends.
It was God.
And it was beautifully terrifying.
Tired. Hike tomorrow. Over 300 pictures, but here are some.
5.31.2008
two stories
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2 comments:
the LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in egypt (columbia), before your very eyes, and in the desert. there you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son (daughter), all the way you went until you reached this place.
( deuteronomy 1:30-31 )
and i BEG BEG BEG you to read malachi 3:6-12.
laura... i love you. insanely. and i'm warring for you. promise.
can't wait to hear your sweet voice and see your sweet face again, but until then, i send you all the grace and peace that the Lord offers.
love love love,
aut
so...
i'm so glad to hear that you're being challenged and coming out on top.
I miss talking to you.
i'm praying for you a lot, and i'm sure a lot of others are too....
You are amazing and i can't wait until i get to see you again.
Our God is good, in all things. He is also just, loving, and deeper and closer than our skin.
Have fun, i'll pray for you to sleep better too...
<3
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